I am an older, shy, single parent living in the suburbs, all of which make meeting eligible men more difficult. I mean, just one of those things makes it hard, but all 4 of those things? As they say in Brooklyn...fuggedaboutit!!
There must be some single parents here in the suburbs, but where do I find them?
The author received a membership to Stir and compensation for this article. All thoughts and opinions expressed are their own.
My dilemma: People my age might have grown kids and don’t want young new ones. Plus, I have not gone to a bar to meet someone since the last century! If I did meet someone, how do I know if they are single? When I am with my kid, everyone knows I am a mom and assumes I'm married, so how to meet someone single? So many hindrances in meeting someone!
So I was super excited to try out a new dating app called STIR, made just for single parents. It gave me hope to think that there may be others like me around. Guys who have kids, like I do, and who just get it. Do you know what I mean? And maybe, just maybe, I can meet one of them.
Setting up my profile
In setting up my profile, I gave a broad impression in my description as to who I am and what I am looking for in a man. Just a few pertinent facts. And a few things I am looking for, plus a deal breaker or two.
Personally, I think I must meet someone to see if there is chemistry. On paper, we may look good together, but there must be a bit of magic too, don't you agree? I want to speak with him on the phone or text a few times to get a sense of who he is before even meeting.
In the bio that I set up, STIR gave me an option called STIR TIME, which is made for parents like me. It says, "I am usually free on..." and then lists daily morning, afternoon, and evening times. I just clicked on when I am available. This is an amazing detail for STIR to think about as some of us parents have crowded schedules. This way prospective matches can see right away when you are free. For instance, you may be available while your kids are at school or on Thursdays when grandma can babysit, etc.
STIR is available as an app as well as a website. Super convenient. Parents can respond instantly to a text from someone while filling the dishwasher or preparing their kid's bath. You can set it up for alerts, such as when someone "likes" you or writes to you, as well as emailing the latest choices of people according to your preferences. Preferences include age and distance from you.
Personally, I began with a shorter distance and then increased the distance over days. Hey, I am open to meeting halfway — I drive, after all. Plus, what if my dream man lives 25 miles away and I only chose to see 20 miles away? I want to be open to possibilities.
Daily updates on available single men ... and a possible connection!
Another option I love is that you can check a box indicating that you only want to see people who are also parents. The site does allow non-parents on it, but you have the option to request with or without kids. And if you are simply looking to meet single parents to be friends with, you can do that too. And while you look, you can put yourself on private mode too, so you can see them but they can't yet see you.
I have been on the site for about two weeks and am getting daily emails (as per my preferences) of male options. So even while online at the supermarket I can take a quick glance and perhaps click a quick "like" on someone. Because of my schedule, I have not yet been able to meet with anyone, but the prospects are there and I am psyched about it.
Small world ... I did come across a former coworker of mine! He has two kids a few years older than mine. We used to be Facebook friends many years ago. I wrote him and he wrote back and we have been talking about our kids. It is fun and cool. And yes, he sent me his phone number.
Isn’t it time for you to try STIR? It's so easy to sign up. Fill out a few details like name, age, location, and who you are looking for and you are ready to search. Once you pick a tier level of membership and pay, you are ready to write and respond to other single parents like you! What are you waiting for? Try STIR today!